diligent and systematic inquiry or investigation into a subject in orderto discover 
or revise facts, theories, applications, etc.:
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In context of my story and the different aspects of what it brings up, I have done some research on the different aspects to better understand and to better know what they mean and how to portray it in the right way. For the story not to be presented in any wrong ways, or for it to infringe anyone.

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This is a aspect that has been, and still is very important and applicable as of today. A lot of people tend to brush the topic away, and not really take the health condition or people living with it seriously. I think one of the reasons for this, is because nowadays it has become a more "normal" terminology in our vocabularies. It is often a term used in a more general context of daily struggles. Especially young people has a tendency of using it more frequently in their lives as describing downs or hard days. 

I am not saying that everybody does, but as a teenager myself, I hear and see others around me use it as a term, while they're probably not thinking about the actual diagnoses. They might not know what it really means to be depressed. And how it is to live with a depression. And this contributes to making it into something that is not always taken seriously.

Being depressed is far more than just feeling a bit sad, unhappy or down for a couple of days. It is not something, like some people think, that you can just snap out of or just pull yourself together. It is a real illness with real symptoms, like lasting feelings of sadness and hopelessness, loss of interest, feeling tearful. There can also be physical symptoms such as feeling constantly tired, sleeping badly, no appetite, no sex-drive, having a hard time falling asleep and complaining of various ache and pain.

Sometimes there is something triggering the depression, such as life changing evens like losing your job, or even having a baby. Depression is also something that can "lay in family genes", if people have family that has history with depression, they are more likely to get or experience it themselves. But you can also become depressed for no obvious reason. 

The symptoms and type/level of depression varies from person to person, and at its mildest you could be just really low in spirit. While the most severe depression can make you feel suicidal and that life is no longer worth living. With the right treatment most people can make a full recovery from depression, or learn to live with it. 


A topic that is also often hushed down, it is taken seriously, but not really spoken openly about.
What is important to know, that many people might not think about, is the fact that anyone can develop a depression. And anyone can actually end up having suicidal thoughts at some points in life. 

Often it is some sort of depression, from for example losing a loved one, getting divorced etc. that develops into a evil circle. Often people blame themselves, and think it is their fault that it is what it is, or has become. Some starts taking drugs or drinking alcohol because it gives them a high or an escape from the feelings they are feeling. But however, this is not an everlasting escape, because after the high, the low comes back and all the feelings rushes back again.

This makes it into a never-ending evil circle, where a lot of people cannot imagine anything going back to normal anymore. They lose their hopes and dreams, gets discouraged and they try to figure out how to get rid of this unhappiness. A lot can only see suicide as the only option to get out of it. They fall down so low, and in need to find themselves again, they sort of have to borrow from other peoples hope to get back. It is possible to recover, to get back again. 

I think the biggest upheaval is to realise, and actually to ask for help. Often you have lost so many pieces of yourself, that you no longer really know who you are anymore. And one of the hardest things is to admit to oneself that you need help. 

Being gay:

The terms homosexual and heterosexual is not really used in everyday speech, instead there is used slang words. The terms used to describe gay people, and how they describe themselves have changed a lot over the last century. These changes are important to see how gay people lived and felt earlier vs now.

Earlier homosexual women and men chose to identify themselves with the term gay, because this helped them distance the term as someone abnormal or ill. And some people find the word insulting and abusive, and objects to its use. Generally the terms gay and lesbian is seen as being less laden with negative implications. Nowadays after the late fifties/sixties it became a normality in everyday use in association with the struggle for gay rights. In this context, the word gay came to represent, as it does now, a word with no negative connotations but rather with a positive and proud sense of identity. But even tough it is seen in a more positive context, it is still misused as abusive name-calling and such.

There are even kids all the way down to 1. and 2. grade-age, using gay as a invective and name-calling. Where does this come from? Children learn from their parents, and to draw parallels, this means that a lot of children grow up with prejudice against those who are gay.

Personally I can say that I have quite a few friends that are gay, so to me it is not any different than having friends that are straight. To me it is still hard to understand that in some countries this is not allowed or looked down upon. I think it might be because we all grow up in different generations, because in my generation this is something that has become totally normal. Which is the way I think it should be.

It has to do with acceptance, and even though the world have come a long way, some generations and places in this world still have a way to go before they reach this acceptance. The acceptance of other people being different than themselves.

I think the hardest thing of being gay is the struggle to realise and accept yourself, and then have to open up to others and have them "react" to you, and how you see yourself. Mainly because it is looked upon by many as something different, something not right. The simple reason for this, is because people, human beings, are afraid of change. If we can avoid change for what its worth, we usually will. It is in our nature to cling to whats safe. This is something that that can make it even harder for those who are gay, to admit and to have the guts to step outside of what is safe. But, I also think that once they have gathered up the guts, and puts it all out there. It is the most relieving feeling in the whole universe, and like a friend of me said, "you also get a even better view of yourself, by coming out".

In most cases coming out as gay is a relief and a great thing, but for some it might actually result in their lives falling together and everything just crumbles to pieces. An everyday struggle can be to feel on the outside, not being able to talk to someone about how you really feel. Because it is hard to know or accept that others can relate to your problems as gay.

//Sources of information

//Images from

//Image shot by me
(the foggy mountain)
with Canon 600D

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